we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize