it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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