What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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