ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
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It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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