On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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