Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize