I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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