he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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