He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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