Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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