dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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