I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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