you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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