dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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