Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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