i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize