Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
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I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
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HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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