so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
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He called his prostate his "boner button".
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
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Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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