Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
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Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
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Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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