My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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