Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
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How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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