Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
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I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
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Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize