is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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