I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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