So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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