i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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