My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
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making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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