Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
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There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
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I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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