I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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