girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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