Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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