Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i think my tv is drunk
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize