remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
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Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
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How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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