I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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