Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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