I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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