i don't like sucking hair
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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