for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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