i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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