if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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