Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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