first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize