a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize