TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize