Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize