at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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