we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize