Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize