Michael Bay diarrhea
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize