All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
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So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
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I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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